Monday, March 26, 2012

The value seeker.

So I can't help but to share this email with my blog readers. Yes I am in a very lucrative business, yes I am very very fortunate, yes I am in a position to make alot of people very happy (or very unhappy) and I try my hardest to please everybody involved, especially myself. But in the course of all the flowers and sunshine of being a provider, there are the occasional jerks who seem to make the sunshine seem hidden behind big huge dark clouds for what seems to be eternity.

"your $100 special, is that an hour?"-john"
"Hey sweetie sorry but my hour rate is $200
However the quick visit rate is $100 on special today
Half an hour is $150"-me
"why advertise as no ripe off special 100 then  talk about 100 for a couple of minute fuck that is a ripe off   lol"- john
"People enjoy my $100 quick visit special so if you enjoy a longer
session, you can pay for it of find another provider that's in your
price range. Oh and the word your looking for is "rip" "ripe- is like a cantelope
or watermelon being ripe enough to eat" to RIP like to tear, or to rip
somebody off is spelled without an e."- me
"just do not run an posting acting like a great deal when it is just standard pricing  BS  bye"-john

So in the midst of my typical email checking I get to go back and forth with this well educated man. I started thinking about the term "special" and what value really means to the client. How can I really show my appreciation to my "regulars" and offer "specials" when it is just the industry average? If I chose to lower my price or add in extra time for a client, does that then become the norm? Because I have one client I did that to and he still pays me $135 each time. Which I am too nice to say anything. 

So this morning my nice ass learned a lesson. I typically just keep the money a client leaves on the table or counter in plain sight of both of us until after the session or when he's in the bathroom (if a new client- when i count it) well I am changing that policy. Don't you know this morning my client left me $115 for half an hour instead of $150. I genuinely believe he misheard my rate, it's a very common and understandable mix up. However I wasn't sure how I was supposed to handle it, so I barely did! I texted him and told him about the confusion, and mentioned that since it was less than half an hour that he stayed we could chalk it up as a quick visit, with tip, but for next time, if he expects the same service and duration, he will have to pay the $150. He assured me he'd make it up to me, which I assured him wasn't neccesary, but it really got me thinking. A client of mine could definitely come in and short change me knowing that I don't count the money until the end. 

At the end of the day I am offering a service. No matter how much I nor my client may enjoy that service, it still needs to have a mutual contract that says what the payment will be in exchange for what services. There is no question what services I offer, especially when somebody looks over the reviews and information that I provide on my website for everybody to see. So there should be no question as to if I am going to actually get the agreed upon price. So even though I think I'm being polite by not checking the amount of money left on the table, I'm really just being stupid, because everybody knows what the deal is at the end of the day.

Either way...i'm still horny and working and yes just a little fired up! So don't fuck with me!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Can't mix business and pleasure

Okay finally I can truthfully say I understand the meaning of not mixing business with pleasure as per my industry. I truly went around thinking that was absolute bullshit and whoever said that obviously was never in the Sex Industry. If they were, then they were dumb and not doing it right! As per "sexual" pleasure and business mixing, of course it makes sense in this industry. But as far as the client and provider relationship, it's not terrible to somewhat mix business and pleasure, after all that is what they are paying you for, it's your business to provide them with pleasure :-)

It definitely took me a little bit of time to understand what the "girlfriend experience" was all about. I am definitely trying harder to tailor myself to fit that fantasy and learning how to really fullfill a man's needs on a pampering "experience" type of level. Say after an appointment at my home, should I be opposed to walking around with my client afterwards with my dogs, or grabbing a bite to eat? I understand how being "too" personal with a client could complicate things for both people- after all a provider's illusion of false closeness while maintaining absolutely no ties- is all part of the appeal! Clients don't want somebody that they go home thinking about as far as on a personal level on a regular basis, or that can tend to complicate things.

I recently learned that after getting very close with a client, maybe mixing business and pleasure can complicate things. After about 4 months of "weekly" sessions, we ended up sharing a little time outside of our sessions together, and keeping tabs on one anothers personal lives, and developing quite a relationship. Things continued like that for a couple of months until I ended up introducing him to some personal aspects of my life, after which he ended up stopping our sessions. It took me a little bit to grasp all of that, because I thought the better you get to know somebody the more fun you can really have together. Well that's not neccessarily the case, because when you have an emotional bond with somebody, it's hard to sit there and just have plain sex, you end up bringing the passion and everything else into it, which can really lead to complications between our friendship and or business relationship as well. At the end of the day, I helped him out with some of his frustrations by showing him around the strip club and talking to some great ladies about him. I'd much rather gain a true friend than a client in the long run. Obviously I understand that this is not ideal and is definitely not the rule, but the exception, which makes total and complete sense to me but I am definitely very much richer a person with him as a friend than as a client. A true friend is very valuable, so long as they know how to be a friend. Which leads me into my final point.

Mixing friends and business sounds and seems very ideal. I have extended my business relationship with a girl I work with into "friendship" which I thought would allow us to have an even better business relationship, but I learned a bit of a lesson in that. I tended to be emotional about business things because she was a friend and was taking things personal. When you're working as a "team" there shouldn't be an I, so two people need to be on the same page. It's best to take the friendship aspect away from the business aspect and cut off feelings. If only there was a switch. I ended up being upset and feeling betrayed when I was helping out "our business" but not getting support I asked for on a personal level. Which really tends to complicate things. So I thought to myself what would the ideal doubles partner be for me? Somebody who is motivated to make appointments with me, that I trust, and can have fun with

Friday, March 9, 2012

Am I nikki? Or am i _____?

You don't mix business and pleasure. Whoever came up with that obviously never escorted, or had a very good job. I thought the goal was to get pleasure out of work so that you don't even realize or feel like you're working. That was always my goal. I love being able to work for myself, be my own boss, make my own decisions, and know exactly what is going on all the time! However, I am taught to keep my personal life separate. But aren't I a girlfriend experience? Isn't it supposed to be personal? So the question comes into play now- since I am "Nikki" at work- should her personal life not be the same as mine? When I am "nikki" I really don't get into character, it's just me with lingerie on lol. So I am not sure if that's something that I maybe should change. I have been having a hard time with this issue over the past week and it's really been boggling my mind. I'm debating whether or not I should go get a wig and make up a crazy life story of who I've always wanted to be. No way-- that sounds crazy and weird. Who has time to keep track of and keep up with a bunch of lies?! I have a hard time with this and end up struggling. As I start to get to know my regular clients, they get to know my life, the real me and who I am. I have actually been blessed with a couple very good friendships out of clients. But then there's that one client that could end up turning on me and ruin everything that I've tried so hard to build. So I guess for sake of the "girlfriend experience" what you see is what you get. 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Haggle Hump Day?!

Okay so when somebody calls and asks for my rates, that is what I give them. So when somebody offers me $40 for a quick visit...and I just told em $100- why would you insult me by offering me less than half? Then the icing on the cake "do you party?" ummm....really? so you spent all your money on drugs and didn't plan ahead that you were going to get horny? So on the topic of drugs, how about the guy asking if I'm "from" Newark, and do I know where "zannies" (xanax) are?! I said I'm a fucking escort, not a fucking drug dealer! I said who are you? Do you even know me? Cause first if you did you'd know that I'm not the person to be asking for drugs! I am living a clean life even free from the anxiety med's that my dr gave me. I know what taking pills that the Dr gives you can do. I've learned my lesson . So back to the topic at hand. Haggle Hump Day....

I saw there was a full moon last night, and that really explains it. I have half the nerve to just not work until it's done!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Back to the grind...One more week in Newark then...?

So I gotta pack my hoe bag up tonight, I'm going to be going to Newark for work all this week. I am going to be offering doubles again with Jasmine and I think that I have convinced her to stay here in Delaware, at least for awhile. I think that's the best move for her and not just for my personal reasons. It was very nice to hang out with her Saturday outside of the hotel and outside of offering doubles. I am really in awe of the person that she is, I think she has been through a lot in her life and I am very proud of all that she has overcome and how good of a head she has on her shoulders. She's definitely a different breed than most of the girls that are in the business from what I understand. Not that I really know other girls that are in the business but, from what I hear, I'm pretty fucking lucky.

So it's funny because my ex found out what I was doing and flipped, but I stayed calm (of course) and took ownership of the situation. Obviously I knew that what I was doing could only stay behind closed doors for so long. I am not ashamed of the work I do, in fact just the opposite. I am very proud of the businesswoman that I am, the fact that I get to have fun and not take advantage of people or prey on their weaknesses. I hate girls in the business that do just the opposite. My life is still sort of overwhelming to me because of how fast my success seemed to come, almost overnight I had a total change of pace. I went from working 20 hours a week at a normal job, running around ragged taking maybe 4-5 appointments per week, on top of going to school, and being miserable and struggling to do anything extra in my life (read: shopping, eating out, getting my hair done, entertainment, medical, even reading books!) to now I can go into a store and buy whatever it is I came there for, without really worrying too much. I still shop the sales racks because that's what I know and what I have been taught. I definitely am aware that there's no way that I can live lavishly and spend all the money that I make and get ahead. So it's all about compromise and separating my needs from my wants. I have been shoveling myself out of the awful situation I was in, and finally am now living my life the way I was destined to! I have a beautiful apartment that has an excellent view and location in an excellent building, I have my beautiful dogs, and a couple of good friends and one good co-worker to make my life more enjoyable. Besides that I have an awesome business consultant/mentor that helps me to live my life to the fullest and helps me clarify the direction that my life is going in, plus I have my Reverend, who helps me to see the truth and the real reasons why my actions and instincts come into play and things happen the way that they do.

So right now I am waiting for my "medicine" (herb) to be delivered so that I can take a couple tokes, head down to the gym, and work off the delicious dinner that I ate. I am so excited to spend a little bit of time this evening marketing myself and researching the next sites that I am going to join and start working on my identity on. I also want to make sure I spend more time on my looks, and more money too. I am making a resolution to get my hair trimmed and colored every 6 weeks after my first initial cut and color (which will be Thursday) and then I am resolving to tan once a week (at least after I get a good base tan) and working out 5 days a week. I do get a good amount of exercise now, whether it's intentional or not, but I need to focus more on actually toning up some of my problem area's and staying focused and getting into that routine. Jazmine is supposed to be working out with me this coming week so hopefully she will not only be my partner in crime for work, but physically as well! Also no boys can schedule us in this Thursday....cuz we are getting our hair did!!